What does this mean for me, now let me think would that be being dumped or at least that what it was like for me. By now you think that I am talking about school life, and you would be right. My secondary school life was not a pleasant experience and yes you have thought about right I was resident at an independent school from 11-16 and it was dreadful, which turned out to be run by sadistic Catholics who got a kick out of young boys as this was a single sex school, until I left the ghastly place. This blog/ article should come with an 18 certificate because what I am about to reveal to you is truly shocking you have been warned.
Here goes then in late September 1982 I was taken by car by parents to this school despite not wanting to go or at least be left and my parents I gather said you wanted to go even though I didn’t, so there were a few mistruths talked about my situation at the time and there was no entrance exam. It was sold to the unsuspecting adults as a school for children with complex needs, you're telling me. It was in the middle of nowhere, near Snetterton race circuit and in between Quidenham and Eccles in Norfolk, nearest mainline railway station Diss and local service Eccles Road.
I asked my parents to hang around for a while and help me make the bed in the main dormitory that would be my home for the next six weeks, which I counted away and could not wait for half term and it was the usual remarks from my parents. My first year was at the main house which was a seventeenth Century dower house, but we were only allowed to use the front stairs at the beginning and end of term and had to go up the back stairs where most of the bullying could occur and this became very dangerous yet no one said a thing in fear of repercussions, which did happen, there was at least a cellar which had been made into a music / games room again I used it to get away from people I did not particularly like because of the endless bullying and nasty situations that went on.
My first day was awful as I could not finish my breakfast as I had to see the matron for the health checks and when I got back downstairs it had been cleared away, and then forced into an assembly listening to the usual platitudes and welcoming new pupils. I remember my first double English class with a good teacher, but then the bullying really started, imagine if you will having the contents of your briefcase tipped out and everything thrown about whilst you are being kicked and punched and you end up having a meltdown which is an autistic fit and then having this around you all day long and this is very upsetting when I think back to it and this is something that I find painful talking about to this day. I then went and gathered all the contents back in and just chucked it in the bag and dealt with it later, I wiped my tears away, but it got worse as I tried to tell the teachers and they could not care less and as for tutor she was no use whatsoever as she was of the teaching staff bullies, she encouraged it and said oh he is having another max out isn’t he pathetic.
It was awful she bullied me in a science lesson all the way through it and there was nothing I could do about this and felt useless, and therefore I did not want to come to this awful school, I had no money, and I could not run away and during the school day is not the right time to do this as they will see that you are missing. It was discovered so they claimed that I could not really cope with what we would call mainstream learning so I was placed in what the rest of the school called the thick class, which was really insulting, but the teaching was excellent, and they hated bullies, so I thought I was safe.
Then I had to endure games three times a week for two hours and yet more bullying from pupils and staff that I really had enough and imagine if your housemaster is also the games master who takes the joy in insulting you and your parents at the same time. The worst time for me was at weekends as people made my life hell I remember my second year when they placed me the undiagnosed autistic boy who felt unhappy having a really tough time and having what they termed as a maxout actually an autistic meltdown I only know this as I would raise my arms around my head and almost go into a fetal position and lash out at people who had it in for me and they just would not leave me alone and the staff would just do nothing. Imagine this frozen to the spot and I was supposed to go to tutor group which I avoided because I hated seeing a member of staff who bullied me and they called this pastoral care, they had no idea what this was.
Eventually when I was 13, I put my hand accidentally though a glass window and I saw matron who was no help and stopped stop shaking and stop crying like a baby and the instead of being sympathetic was rude and intimidating.
Worst was to happen to me from age 12 to 16 I was systematically sexually abused by pupils instigated by staff who took pleasure in getting sexually aroused my boys getting raped which they thought was acceptable and that is all I am saying about this because it gets too painful and distressing to talk about, and now you wonder why I have Complex PTSD and High Functioning Autism etc.
